Whether your baby is teething, your toddler refuses to wear pull-ups, or your children are fighting in the grocery store, there are times when you feel like you might lose it. On the inside, you want to scream and pull your hair. You want to throw a tantrum (just like your two year-old!)
Parents, feeling this way is normal and common. It happens. Give yourself a break! I want to remind you that you’re doing the best that you can.
The next time you want to throw a fit, say these mantras to yourself. They might shift your perspective and help you ride out this turbulent wave of emotion.
4. This Too Shall Pass
Think back to one of the happiest moments. You were smiling, exuding positive energy, and bubbling with pure joy. Now, think back to a sad moment. Your body was overcome with grief and despair.
Whether you wanted the experience to last forever or skip ahead as soon as possible, your feelings did not stay the same. As humans we are constantly grasping for joyful moments, hoping they last as long as possible. We shove and pull away from negative feelings.
However, sometimes the best medicine is to feel the feeling deeply and then let it wash over you like a wave. The next time the diaper explodes and you feel like you’ll never recover from your irritability, remember that emotions are never constant.
3. I Breathe in Pain. I Breathe Out Love and Compassion.
This practice is called Tonglen, a Tibetan word for giving and taking. American Buddhist, Pema Chödrön, teaches this practice to help people awaken their inner compassion. When you see something sad in life, a dead animal on the side of the road, a debilitated homeless person, or your crying child, breathe in their pain for a second. Take it all in.
Right now, don’t try to skip over it, ignore it, or make it go away. During this in-breathe, bear witness to the pain and suffering that is taking place before you. Next, breathe out love, compassion, and relief. Continue in this cycle.
Your little one is definitely going to have a lot of tantrums and sad emotions. The next time they throw a fit because they aren’t allowed to color on the wall or throw food at you, try to be there with them through that sorrow for a few breaths.
2. I Feel Grateful That…
Your toddler just knocked over the last of the orange juice, your baby won’t fall asleep and is screaming at the top of her lungs, and you’re going to be late for preschool, again.
Great! Shifting your attitude toward one of gratitude and thanks during these moments is no easy task. However, expressing gratitude can have a monumental effect on your well-being. Say aloud “I am grateful that: I have access to a car to make it easier to get places. There is a grocery store nearby. My baby falls asleep easily most days. The preschool teachers are kind about tardiness. I have the means to purchase more orange juice.”
This practice can help you go from an I-want-to-scream-and-stomp-and-pull-my-hair moment to one that you can handle and control.
1. I’m Doing My Best
Moms, you’re doing the best you can. That is enough. The fact that you care enough to get worked up in the first place and go online and read a parenting blog is proof that you care. You love your child deeply and would do anything for him or her.
Remind yourself that you’re worthy, you’re enough, and that you’re a good mom! There’s no need to feel guilty that you aren’t going above and beyond. When you have the energy go the extra mile or when you’re feeling like you might lose your mind, take a step back.
Feeling guilt and shame about your parenting won’t get you to where you want to go. Accepting your shortcomings will allow you to change and blossom into your best self. We’re all human. We all make mistakes.
Whether you fed your kid pizza instead of broccoli a few times this week or didn’t make it on time to your kid’s first day of school, you’re still a good mom. Never forget that.
Take a sigh of relief! Now you have a few mantras to say to yourself the next time you feel like you might explode with emotion. Being a mom can be incredibly difficult.
Now that you have a few tools in your pocket, you’ll be able to handle those moments when you feel worn thin. I hope you and your family have a wonderful day!
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